Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Thinking of getting pregnant? Think correctly!


When you think of getting pregnant, when you plan it, you are not actually thinking of it as a process, rather as an outcome. Let me explain - when you plan on getting pregnant, what is the image in front of your eyes - you see yourself surrounded by an adoring husband and a cute little baby - THAT is the outcome - not the process.
You never see yourself going through the wrongly termed - "morning" sickness, or the moods that swing like a pendulum on gatorade, or the various aches afflicting body parts you did not know existed. You do not imagine the extreme aversion to foods, and their effect on you. All you think about is the happy baby in your arms. Even that is a myth, apparently. Babies are happy only for so much time, the rest of the time they are crying, pooping or sleeping!

But that is how it is!

Notwithstanding all these "sicknesses" , you look forward to your life changing completely. Again, I am not prepared for it - for life as i know it, to stop existing, and to morph into something completely different, sucked into a stratosphere where the baby is the center of your universe. You cannot prepare for it - how will you go about the preparation anyway? But you just know it is going to change, and it is a change you look forward to. 

As i let my body come to terms with the horror i have and the baby will continue inflicting on it, i rest peaceful in my mind. At least my mind has come to terms with it. However, since it is the body that has to bear the major brunt, my mind has considerately decided to wait for it to relax and accept in its own sweet time.

How quickly we want everything to materialize the moment we think of it! When we decided to start trying for a baby - i couldn't wait - it had to happen that very month, And then when it doesn't you start thinking of the worst case scenarios. And then it happened the next month - thanks to advanced pregnancy tests, and ovulation kits and other gizmos, we can expedite this phase of trying to make a baby. But ultimately, nature takes the lead - 9 months it has always been and 9 months it shall always be. 
And you think - how is it that we haven't come up with solutions to this lost gestational period as yet?
But, i honestly think, nature has been kind and understanding the impatience of mankind, has got this number down to the absolute least. The body just about adjusts in 9 months - anything less and it would probably rebel or give up.

This is just one of the many tangents that my thoughts seem to venture into, the majority is occupied with the best of thoughts! It is a game - if you are in, there is no turning back and if you are out, you cannot wait to get in.
Sometimes it is the disbelief that - this is actually happening, sometimes it is the sheer pressure - will i be able to cope? Often it is the day dreaming, marred by the occasional bout of sickness, many a times it is the joy of creating, the happiness of love.
Do you ever take time to get used to being pregnant? Do you sometimes forget that you are - Absolutely not!
It is something that is there at the back of your mind, always, ticking like a time bomb, never letting you forget that you are in a region full of minefields.
And when you see the little dot in the sac, its heart pumping viciously, you know this is as real as it gets! 


Monday, August 10, 2015

When i had the chance to meet the elusive 0.1%

We recently had a bed bug attack at our home.
Thankfully it was restricted to one room, and in its early stages. We launched a full scale counter attack - replete with chemicals, sprays, hot water, lots of washing, burning. The poor things had no chance of surviving that apocalypse.
And the counter attack was like Hitler's blitzkrieg - all at once, sudden, from all sides and lasted only 24 hours.   
No, there was no way a even single tiny bug could have survived. 

But as in all advertisements of toothpastes, insect repellents, sprays - the promise is to kill 99.9% of the germs. There is a margin of error, the absolutely incredible that survive - the 0.1%. You never know for sure if they exist or they are a figment of the advertiser's imagination to avoid future lawsuits. How can the attack kill all but this 0.1%? What is so special about them? Is it luck or something more basic, engineered into the very soul of their being? Are you born with it, or can it be taught and learnt? And if it can be taught and learnt, why has the percentage stayed a constant 0.1% ? The more you think about it, the more it starts sounding like a legend, whose authenticity can never be verified.

But i had the privilege of meeting a member of this elusive category.
Long after the darkness had set in, and flush with our victory we lay down for the long awaited peaceful slumber, who would have thought that it was not to be?
Sagar woke me up in the middle of the night, to ask me if something was still biting me? I thought - the poor thing has become obsessive. This is what killing does to your soul. But wait no - scratch scratch scratch - that does sound like me scratching my arm. No! It cannot be, it just cannot be.
Our minds refused to accept that any bug could have survived, it was just plain impossible!

Out came the flashlights, sheets were dusted, corners carefully searched and secured and we could not find anything, and then when we were just about to give up and accept that there is no real winner in a war - either you die or you lose your soul and accepting that this would haunt us forever- there we saw it move. A ting baby bug - right in the middle of the bed, crawling forward lethargically thanks to all the blood it had sucked out of us and consumed. Yes, it was there for us to see - the 0.1% is not a legend. They exist! And i wanted to stare at it, and follow it and see what its plans were. Oh, how i wished bugs could talk. I wouldn't mind asking this one for a cup of tea, getting to hear its tale of survival. 
And swat! Before the obscure chain of my thoughts could complete itself, Sagar, with rage on his face had killed the last surviving bed bug. And i just looked on in complete disbelief. 
There was no way i could have told him what my thoughts were - inviting a baby bug to tea - he would have had a field day with that! - but - i cannot believe he just killed the 0.1% category bug without a second thought! 
Wasn't he curious even a little bit?
I guess not, nothing is more important that his sleep and beware anything that tries to take that away from him!

Source of Image: memeshare.net